Tuesday, 14 February 2012

BS


Sometimes we do things just to hurt people we love the most. Its human I guess. I have hurt people whom I loved just to appease my anger. But it never works cause of the guilt trip it causes. When someone moves on, it is better to accept and move on yourself as you have ceased to exist for your beloved. It is better to keep your dignity rather than losing it.

One memory of yours in their mind should be a memory which would make them remember you and not thank god that you are not in their lives.

Try to save yourself so that you can live a guilt free life.

Wednesday, 8 February 2012

Missing Someone


"There are some days when everything falls apart.
When things go wrong.
When nothing goes your way.
When you want to cry but can’t.
When you feel lost and alone."

There are days when you miss someone you love more than you are used to, no matter if they are just a few or few thousand miles away.

Even having lots of good friends around on those “special” days won’t help you much. You are sure grateful to them for being there, because you know they are ready to do everything to make you feel better. But that’s exactly the case when EVERYTHING won’t be ENOUGH.

And they won’t be able to stop this desperation and frustration you are going through because they are not the reason for this.And you will try to make yourself believe how much a good thing it is to have someone so special to miss and how nevertheless you are in their heart even if you are far away. And this thought is supposed to make you feel warm, but sometimes it just does not.

"Sometimes you need more than just a thought.
Sometimes you need to hear their voice.
Sometimes you need to look into their eyes.
Sometimes you need just to lean on them, to feel they are there…"

Unfortunately sometimes it is not possible.
It is interesting that you might miss someone that much even if you just have seen each other in the morning, talked on phone a minute ago or finished your chat right now. Missing someone is never about how long it has been since you have seen them last. It also isn’t related to the amount of time you spent with them lately.

Somehow it is about this very moment. Right here and right now, when you are doing something and wish that they were right there with you. But they are not.

"All you want is just to share some good news
with them because it will be good news for them too.
Or to share your troubles because that’s
the way you can lessen your pain.
Or to share smiles and laughter because you are so much used
to having them around when you are happy.
Or you just want them to dry your tears
because only they can make those tears disappear.
But most of all you just want them to be there.
And you wonder if they understand what you feel,
and how much you miss them.
And you wonder if they miss you at all and how much.
And you wonder if they are so close in your heart,
then why this is not enough and why they seem to be so far away."

There are days when you miss someone so much that the entire world seems to be in darkness.

There are some days when everything falls apart.
When things go wrong.
When nothing goes your way.
When you want to cry but can’t.
When you feel lost and alone.

There are days when you miss someone you love more than you  are used to, no matter if they are just a few or few thousand miles away.

And on these days you want them to miss you too…

Monday, 6 February 2012

To Accept is To Live


For Dear Ridhi,

To Accept is To Live

To Accept will mean; That you
can find the serenity within
to let go of the past.....
With its mistakes and its glories,

It defines a positive move towards the future
with a new perspective,
learn to appreciate the opportunity
and grab your second chance.

Acceptance means security
when times are tough.

Aceptance is comfort to relieve your pain.

You will dream again and hope again,
forgiveness you will find again.

Acceptance does not mean
that you will always be perfect.
But You will always overcome imperfection.

Acceptance is the road to peace-
Letting go of the worst,
Holding on to the best,
And finding that hope inside
which continues throughout life.

Acceptance is the only way
To keep believing In yourself;
When everything seems faraway.

Thursday, 2 February 2012

The Princess Who lived in the Kingdom of Far Far Away.


For You......

If I could ever say one more thing to you
It would be a smile and not a word
You know me well enough to know what it means
Words were never enough, but our feelings are.
Yes, they are and they always will…..

I wonder how you spend your days
I dream of you …………………………….
Wish we meet someday, someplace.
A broken heart is not what I have.
It jumps at a thought of your smile, it flips remembering your voice.

Happiness is what you are
For those who were and for those who are
For a flower though blooms for a day
Its beauty will always stay…. Stay for those who saw it.
And for those who passed by you.
You touched me before
You touch me today, for you are that memory
Which will never fade away…….

Monday, 30 January 2012

The Gift of Pen and Paper n a lot of BLAH!!!!


My hands are shaky and I am still trying to write, why is this ever present need to put down feelings into written words. There is always an immense pain which rises which I try to put behind, sometimes I try to suppress it. But sometimes when I finally confront it there are always warm and salty tears which roll down. The tears sear my cheeks and it feels my lips have cold sores. But after the letting out of pent up emotions it always feels good.

Men fear to express their pain, being in denial mode is always the easier way out but in the long run when it does come out, it wrecks havoc. It magnifies and then pours out. You say stuff you do not mean, right and wrong blurs, and even a fight raised for best of causes loses it purpose. And what will it mean anyways when the reason for an uproar is lost.

Things seem simple like this, things are so better like this. When a situation arises; when I accept that even without family and friends and people around me I can be ok, it means that I am truly content in life. The fact is that we cannot seize to expect. But yes we can learn to control it, once that fact of life is mastered one cannot feel immense hurt, what I keep inside me will certainly be lost when I realize the value of not expecting.

I am at my calmest when I am on my own, I like to talk and when I do, I talk too much. When I am alone I have a lot of time to think, to ponder, to dream, I can actually see myself living my dreams. Some people find it juvenile and that is the reason you do not share who you are or what you are to everyone. I never share who I am with anyone. A projection is what we are, I have my flaws but why make random people privy to things which they will not care about anyways.

It’s a beautiful invention, aint it? The pen, the paper, the typewriter and the computer. But penning down thoughts is still my favorite. It’s beautiful, how a nice pen helps you write in a flowing straight line, the beautiful curves of alphabets, the creative element of me flowing through the pen. It’s just so beautiful.
  I have an inkling, till the time my fingers won’t be arthritic I will remain the happiest person on this planet. As I can write….. and some more…..  

Monday, 23 January 2012

Finding Us in Finding Forrester



This is a rant on one of my favourite fictional characters, Mr. William Forrester. Those who are looking for find something exciting down below will be sadly disappointed and those who read whatever trash I write diligently would definitely want to watch ‘Finding Forrestor’. So Enjoy…..

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The scene opens with a bunch of kids playing basket ball in the neighborhood court. On the third floor of a neighboring apartment a curtain mysteriously opens and closes at weird hours…. Kids will be kids and they want to know.


As days pass the kids grow curious and they sneak in the apartment at some god forsaken hour. The kid who had the courage to go inside and act all Inspector Clouseau was a kid named Jamal Wallace. A product of the ghetto, whose mother worked as a maid and his brother worked at a parking lot at the Yankee stadium.


Jamal while going through the apartment hears some movement and rushes out…. He forgets his backpack in the house, the next day after school while playing ball he finds his backpack hanging out of the apartment he broke into.

After a few days his bravado kicks in and he climbs up to the apartment, the door opens and his backpack is thrown at him. At home when he opens his pack, he finds his personal notebook tampered with. As Jamal’s dad had left them at an early age, he had a habit of penning his thoughts on his notebook, he looks into the notebook and finds it corrected. Each page meticulously read and corrected.


Jamal visits this mysterious teacher of his the next day; he walks up the apartment, knocks and is welcomed by a gray gentleman, Mr. William Forrester.


From there on the journey of Jamal unfurls, a journey where he understands the Pulitzer Prize winning Forrestor and why he chose to write only one novel “Avalon Landing”.

William Forrester is shown as a recluse, a person who hasn’t left his house for roughly 30 years, a man of great intellect but Jamal does not know who his mentor is. Forrester tells Jamal never to ask him why he chooses not to step out of the house and their relationship is purely academic and they are not to delve into each other’s personal lives.


Their friendship grows and Jamal begins to understand the tremendous complexities of this man. In a discussion between Jamal and William, Jamal tells him about the writing competition he has entered and that the prize is worth the effort, to which William replies that he does not understand the concept of an end result of writing, writing is for one’s joy.


Jamal :- “Yo William, did you ever win a prize?”

William:- “yes, of course, once I won”

Jamal:- “When, what was it”

William:- “Oh, once I wrote a book, I won the Pulitzer..”


Jamal is stunned, he does not know how to react, his reaction is of a kid who is watching a lion, awed by his presence but fearful of someone who might rip him while he stands there admiring him.


As laymen, as people who read we might never understand why a great talent like him never chose to write again. But as the movie unfurls his logic seems correct though his madness is evident. According to him people who lack talent of writing become critics, a whole universe of critics will sit down and try to rip up your creation in trying to understand what the inner meaning of the book is. Why people don’t understand that each writer is not looking to present a deep hidden meaning, they just write. And when such heartfelt creation is subjected to criticality, even positive reviews and criticism can really psych people out.


William is in the process of teaching Jamal the art of writing. He asks Jamal to sit down on his typewriter and start typing whatever comes in his mind. He tries but finds his logic insane, hence he is not typing with conviction. William shouts and urges him to type faster…. And he types, the typewriter hums like a true beauty it is. And with months of typing he creates his first creation ‘A Season of Faith’s Perfection’.


Watching this scene actually helped me write, what we create in any way is our own, the way a parent cannot reject their children similarly our creation no matter how trashed out it is, is ours in the end.


The movie and William teach us that what might seems eccentric and not normal is not eccentric all the time, the fact that we assume and we perceive hides the truth from us. When a 360 degree view of his apartment is shot, there is written material piled up everywhere. He writes four hours a day but does not publish anything. Why should he? He does not lack money then how come his choices make him an eccentric? A man or a woman has a right to choose his/her path. The motto is simple that our decisions should not make us regretful.


One memorable line of the movie is when Jamal is trying to woo this girl who studies with him. Jamal asks William what he should do. To which William replies “a girl can be wooed with an unexpected gift at an unexpected time”. It works…. It does.


And thus the story of William Forrester, portrayed by Sean Connery as honestly as any man could. And thus the line, “our choices make us who we are and how the world will remember us”.





Tuesday, 10 January 2012

Dignity Denied Even in Death


This piece of article was published in : The Hindu.

The bodies of widows who die in government-run shelter homes in Vrindavan are taken away by sweepers at night, cut into pieces, put into jute bags and disposed of as the institutions do not have any provision for a decent funeral. This, too, is done only after the inmates give money to the sweeper!

The terms of reference also included ascertaining whether there were peculiar family circumstances which led to abandonment of the women by their families or children which was actionable under Section 24 of the Maintenance and Welfare of Parents and Senior Citizens Act, 2007.

In most cases widows are denied remarriage even after the death of their husband in childhood or young age. While some are forced to leave the marital home and native place by the family members just to avoid maintenance in old age and bearing the burden of a non-productive family member, many others leave their homes due to physical and mental torture.

The report details the plight of these women, some of whom get a monthly pension of Rs. 300 and a measly quantity of food grain and sugar which is woefully inadequate for survival. As a result, they are forced to beg and sing in temples from where they can earn two or three rupees a day.
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Oh Humanity, Where Art Thou?

A blogger writes with regards to the above article published in The Hindu, that relationships are mercenary. In any dynamic everyone is looking for their benefit. Though it is a disturbing critique on the society at large but it does not fail to highlight what is the truth in today's society or the truth of societal dynamics which have always prevailed.

Since this article has been published, I can not even imagine human beings being made to suffer like that. Why do they need to suffer so much? Because they are not privileged? Yes we can pass the blame game, we can say that the government is not doing their jobs right. But we are a huge country. Leaving aside all the red tapism and bureaucracy at play, managing such a major population is no joke.

We all have high moral values but what do we do about it? Why are we becoming so selfish? We do not have an answer for this because we are too entrenched in material benefits which we can only enjoy if we put in certain efforts towards earning money.

I have taught children, I have dealt with AIDS stricken prostitutes but I always saw them smile. Yes, they are the bane of the society but to sell your body off for 50 bucks!!!!???? I do not think they enjoy it. We need to take a stand, a stand here would not mean leaving our comfortable lives but a stand to make the people of our generation aware that such things prevail.

People will argue, do we not know that these things prevail? Yes, you do know my friend but you know it only in terms of a happening. You do not know the pain each individual suffers. You do not know the grim truths and facts which drives the lives of thos who cant even afford to live in a slum. Be aware and spread this awareness. Doing this will be enough if you are not ready to get your hands dirty.

A special mention to my friend, Sanjay Pratyush, who makes it a point to teach children who cant afford education. Yes, its the basest and easist of voluntary services but this is what you call a start.A start which makes little children smile. It is a symbol, a symbol of hope. A symbol which stays......

When the blogger said all relationships are mercenary just remember the love a parent fels for his/her child. A parent's love will always be without malice and without wanting anything in return. Let us all keep these little things alive and try to work towards change.


A change which moves beyond our petty little jealousies and unfulfilled wishes. A change where no widow has to be hacked into pieces cause the government cant afford to cremate them.