Tuesday 27 March 2012

The Saint of Killers


He thrived on blood... innocent bystanders saw him shoot those who stood against the confederate army. Sometimes at point blank range, blood splattered all over his clothes and face. Sometimes a drop of two wound itself around his rifle, the blood tracing itself back from the barrel to the handle then to the saint's palm finally dripping and making a patch in the eerie desert shrubbery.

The nights were cold and dank, the fires were hollow, the path ahead was empty. The saint was tired of all the killing.

She stood behind the well watching him, his brutality and his boorishness did not scare her away. She stood up holding her ground, the flames of a fire nearby gave her an aura. The saint did not say a word but he knew that his life was going to change. He walked up to her lifted her on his shoulders and started walking.

They made love in a shaded area, eliza did not fight back. She was crying while he pounded her, the tears were of knowing that this man was hers. It was not a rape, it was an acceptance of knowing what you wanted.

The saint and eliza gave birth to a baby girl, those who dreaded saint were happy that he had a flicker of smile. The saint was changing and suddenly the rebels killed em all. His wife and daughter burnt alive in front of his eyes while he tried to save them.

He went numb, his anger was chilly; he lifted his weapon and started to walk towards the enemy camp. He kept shooting everyone: men, women, kids his face was expressionless. People howled and died all around him but he was aimless. The village was silent, rat camp was a dead village in fifteen minutes. And then someone shot the saint. He sat on one knee held his ground with his other feet, looked up screamed a weary scream and died......

But that was not all.............

The saint is now a soul, the gates open and he walks towards a fiery bridge, the flames are red but as he keeps walking the flames are subdued as if someone is pressing them down. It becomes totally dark. A gate stands in front of him with a sword as its insignia.

The Saint opens the door, he has to shut his eyes from the ethereal glow of a man who has dragon wings. The Saint looks up and sees a man glowing in white and blue flames, a long tunic and cotton pants robe him, he has wings, wolf like teeth and his hair touch his knees. Beautiful flowing long hair which is burning white and blue. His cotton pants have two very long swords hanging from it.

The Angel of Hell is he and he does not speak.... he looks at the fire place.

The Devil walks in, he has short hair, clean set of teeth, a white linen suit white shirt and he is wearing jute slippers. His eyes give him away. The are black but instead of them being colored they are burning, a peep and you can see the wrath, a peep would drag you down countless miles beneath the abyss we call hell.

The Angel looks at the Devil, he seems tired..... he says " Lucifer, The Saint is what people called him... he is the right soul to continue our work. We are not evil but who can explain it to our children. Humans will never understand but we need to keep doing what we did." He finished the sentence in a huff and then he coughed, his hair bouncing over his whole body, the fire shimmering and fading in certain places.

The Devil was silent still, he looked at the saint and asked him "Child, will you do my dirty deed?"

The Saint looks up and the room starts to freeze, the fire in his eyes begins to diminish, the devil clutches his head and falls.

He gets up and asks the Angel for his two swords..... he holds them and gives a mighty roar turning the room into a furnace. The swords start melting and they shape up in two walker colt revolvers. The revolvers never ever miss their target and they will kill.

The room turns to normal, the devil hands the colts to the saint. The angel holds the saint by his arms and breathes his white fire in his mouth.. he then says "now, you shall be The Saint of Killers".

A breeze emanates and The Saint of Killers is born, a white fire glowing his unkempt bearded face, the toothpick still hangs and the colt are nestled in his hips.....

The Saint is walking away when the Devil leers and taunts him "So, my lackey you serve me now.. Do you not?"

The Saint turns around and shoots him, he kills him then and there and screams... his wrath freezes hell over alongwith all its inmates and he walks out....


He goes ransacking towns and villages and cities until no one is left......

He calls upon God on his knees, hands folded in prayer..... he asks him why did he had to lose it all? For this? God tells his child "I did it Saint,  you had to become what no one else would become"

The Saint asks " Did you take my family away?"

God replies "Yes".

The Saint shoots him... drags him off his throne and takes his place. Now there is no more sin and no more puppeteers. He feels calm, a drop of white fire runs down his chin and he sleeps an eternal sleep.

Monday 26 March 2012

Death Greets Me Warm


I was running scared it was an endless abyss, a tunnel which was never ending; there was no light to guide me.

I was stuck in the same place and the skeletons in my closet chased me. I was unable to run away. I kept pushing, trying to wake up from a  bad nightmare but that was not to be.

I could feel my eyes leaking, big pearly drops of tears falling on my bed spread. Each drop rolled down my cheek and not finding a path to pave fell on my bed sheet. It became a patch spreading from thread to thread, looking at it minutely it seemed that the tear drop followed a pattern engulfing multiple threads in its path of passivity and sadness.

As I looked back I saw you stop, you had that look in your eyes, your long hair was flowing and the breeze ruffled it.... but I could not turn back neither could I move ahead.

I wanted to scream that I need you but I do not know why was it a nightmare. God looked at my writhing body, sweat stained and anxious... Pity was what creeped in him.

And he opened up a huge chasm in front of my never ending tunnel. I looked at you, tried to turn back and could not. I tried moving forward and fell in the chasm.

I woke up..... it was not my room. A scavenger of death greeted me and a burning sign read welcome to hell.......


And the ICU lights dimmed and a trolley was pushed off to the morgue.

Saturday 17 March 2012

Sleepless in Seattle Happens

All My Days.... For Kaddu


Anton Chekov wrote : "Perhaps the feelings that we experience when we are in love represent a normal state. Being in love shows a person who he should be."

Carl Jung wrote: "The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed."

The funny thing about a google search on love quotes is; besides Betty Davis no one came up with a sarcastic, stinging and pungent remark about love. Everybody gets hurt in love but still pointing out the nice things which love has to add to our lives makes me wonder is it such a strong feeling?

I was wondering about it a fortnight back and I realized love is the strongest emotion one can feel. It is so much more than anger, hurt, jealousy, gluttony or pain.

The feeling of love is a life changer, the pain it causes has a beauty added to it; the tears are so warm that they can be directly corelated to the pain pleasure of sex(not random but amongst people in love). Every hurt, every pursuit of convincing the other person to smile is worth the effort. The whole gooey concept of life and love which all sensible people generally hate makes sense atleast once in life. When you meet such a person you do not care what anyone else thinks about you.

True love is not lecherous, a true lover would never leech on other girls or guys on the road:) cause they are so engrossed in each other.

When love is true, the other person will know for sure. In our desi language the most popular term is " yaar she definitely loves you , i saw woh tujhe kitne pyaar se dekhti hai" yeah it is cheesy but why the hell should you care. Love is cheesy for those who are not ready to accept its potential to bring out the best in you.

I know for a fact that it does!!! The need to show care for that person, how that one single person becomes your whole life, how your day to day activities surround him/her, when accomodating your needs to match theirs seems the most natural thing to do thats the beauty of it.

It seems that I can definitely go on regarding this but the bottomline is we need to accept things as they come on our way and to those who are damaged and fear love just let it envelope you. Cause like Ted Moseby you can't stop trying till you know you have met the one. :)



How Can I Tell If I'm In Love?



:)


Am I In Love Clue #1 - Physical Responses

One of the ways to know its love is by the physical responses you have to your partner when in their presence or thinking about them. Do you shiver? Get goosebumps? Blush? Sweat? Feel tingly all over? Cry when saying goodbye? Get stomach flip flops or butterflies? Feel like there is a lump in your throat? Can't stop smiling? Feel warm and fuzzy? All of these physical responses are indicators that you may have found true love, but only when paired up with the other clues in this list.

Am I In Love Clue #2 - Non-Obsessive Worry

You'll know when it's love by the way you worry about your parnter. Did they make it to work okay? Are they late because they were in an accident? Will they enjoy the dinner you painstakingly made for them? Of course, we all worry about our loved ones, but when you're in love with someone the worry takes on a different quality. At no point is it obsessive or negative however; rather, you are truly concerned for their well-being when in love.

Am I In Love Clue #3 - Wanting the World To Know

A common trait amongst couples who are in love is that they feel compelled to tell the world that they love one another. Whether it is wanting to yell at the top of your lungs from the rooftops, "I love you," or taking the celebratory nature of love towards a more traditional route (marriage), true love is characterized by wanting everyone to know just how happy you are together.

Am I In Love Clue #4 - Constant Reminders

You know you're in love when almost everything you experience reminds you of your partner. From the kind of coffee they drink to the smell of their cologne/perfume, from the way they say, "Hi!" to the silly way they tie their shoelaces, wherever you are and whatever you're doing, it all comes back to your partner.

Am I In Love Clue #5 - Positive Thoughts

Being in love with someone means that you (mostly) see them through rose-colored glasses. In What is True Love, positive thoughts about your partner are a crucial element to continued love for your partner. In some circles this phenomena might be called "doing no wrong", but with healthy optimism and realism.

Am I In Love Clue #6 - Reciprocated Feelings

If your partner tells you that their feelings mirror yours in a romantic, deep, loving fashion, then your love is likely blooming, or ready to move to the next level.

Am I In Love Clue #7 - Feeling Good

There's flying high on a cloud with loving feelings, and then there's feeling good about yourself. If your partner makes you feel like a million dollars when you're together, or that you can conquer anything because they have unswerving faith in you, then there's a good chance you're in love.

Am I In Love Clue #8 - No Pressure

In many a romantic relationship, there is some pressure to move things to the next level. In this case however we're talking about feeling pressured by your partner to do something you're not willing or ready to do - such as prioritizing them before your work or having sex. You may want to do these things, but when you're truly in love they are your choice alone and do not occur because of being pressured by your partner. 

Am I In Love Clue #9 - Healthy Jealousy

It's normal to feel a tinge of jealous towards your partner if an old fling comes back into their life, or if an attractive person starts flirting with them. The difference between damaging andhealthy jealousy? When healthy, the feeling is fleeting at best, and you trust your partner implicitly not to hurt or betray you. 

Courtesy-about.com




Saturday 10 March 2012

Love: As I See It


When I see you:
I ask myself, "Why does she cry?"
I ask myself, "Am I so bad?"
I find no answers to that.

I realize that it is you.
And I accept you,
For what you are and who you are.

I make no efforts, to love you
Cause when I dont, I miss you.

It is easy for me to love you,
Cause I want to love you.

Do not change....
Even if it is the only constant.
If you do and want to fly,
I can always smile and say goodbye.

The pangs of love are renewed
The beauty felt again and the hurt subdued.

I can ask for nothing more,
My prayer is that I can feel it some more and a lil bit more.

Thursday 8 March 2012

How I Met Your Mother Style Friendship

The need to express is one of the basest of emotions. It is a tool which we use to let the other person know how we feel. Majority of the time when I am blabbering about the need of few friends; but such friends whom you can trust as you can trust your family, a key ingredient makes these friend as special as they are.

The key ingredient is telepathy, not in its supernatural sense but in a way wherein even if you dont express yourself explicitly your thoughts are still communicated to your friend.

This concept is portrayed in 'How I met your Mother' in comical overtones, but it has a very deep message embedded in it. Not trying to sound preachy but it is a key ingredient which defines friendship.

For example, one of my friend is craving to go back home, one is preparing for an onslaught of exams, one is emotional coping up with a break up, one is stressed beyond belief cause of work and so on. So all these ladies and gentleman would want to treat a person as their friend who can understand the turmoils and the vagaries of life they are facing right now.No one wants to accept that they are weak but a friend's job is to make them feel comfortable, to understand their needs without them being vocal about it. To understand ,to try and reason with them and most importantly to protect them.

A very important job is to protect the people you love(not physically). The fact that they know that they can count on you means a whole world to the strongest and the toughest of people.

The most amazing way to piss off your close friend is to interrupt their verbal rant by saying "I know, how you feel", if you knew you would never say that. When someone takes the time and courage when someone moves beyond their inhibitions to share their turmoils with you then they need an empathetic listener.

I have heard people bitching about their other friends stating that "when I tell that person my problems then he/she starts with their own". If thats the case then dear friend (directed at the one with counter rants) you are not a friend at all. When you can hear a rant and reply back with a counter rant and it causes no issues trust me you would never want to let go off that friend.
We all are busy, some maybe more some maybe less but for those who have touched your life in any special way,  who has made you feel special even for the minutest millisecond make sure that you are always available for them. Forgetting those who cared for you are signs of a weak and a supercilious person.

Dont wait.... call that special friend :)



Top Movie Quotes



A list of my all time favorite movie quotes.


"I'm going to make him an offer he can't refuse."               The Godfather

"Here's looking at you, kid."        Casablanca

"I love the smell of napalm in the morning."         Apocalypse Now

A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti."                    The Silence of the Lambs

"Show me the money!"             Jerry Maguire

"You can't handle the truth!"     A Few Good Men

"After all, tomorrow is another day!"     Gone with the Wind

"I'll be back."      The Terminator 

"You've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya, punk?"         Dirty Harry

"Greed, for lack of a better word, is good."[18]               Wall Street         

"Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer."[19]                Michael Corleone            Al Pacino              The Godfather Part II             1974

“As God is my witness, I'll never be hungry again."
"Listen to them. Children of the night. What music they make." Count Dracula    Bela Lugosi          Dracula

"I feel the need—the need for speed!"                Top Gun

“To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women.” — Conan the Barbarian

 “Guns are for show. Knives are for pros.” — Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels

 “I shall call him Squishy. And he shall be mine. And he shall be MY Squishy.” — Finding Nemo

“Now, you’ve got a corpse in a car, minus a head, in a garage. Take me to it.” — Pulp Fiction

“Ever since I can remember I always wanted to be a gangster.” — Goodfellas

“I don’t understand. All my life I’ve been waiting for someone and when I find her, she’s … she’s a fish.” — Splash

“They’ve done studies, you know. Sixty percent of the time, it works every time.” — Anchorman

“We were frightened of being left alone for the rest of our lives. Only people of a certain disposition are frightened of being alone for the rest of their lives at the age of 26…we were of that disposition.” — High Fidelity

“I’ve been listening to my gut since I was 14 years old, and frankly speaking, I’ve come to the conclusion that my guts have shit for brains.” — High Fidelity

I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.   A Streetcar Named Desire           1951

I'm king of the world!     Titanic

“Ever notice how you come across somebody once in a while you shouldn’t have f**ked with? That’s me.” (Clint Eastwood)

 Pirates Of The Caribbean and The Curse Of The Black Pearl (2003)
Captain Jack Sparrow: “Well, yes mate. See, I’m dishonest. And a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly. It’s the honest ones you need to watch out for, because you never know when they’re going to do something incredibly… stupid.” (Johnny Depp)


Tuesday 6 March 2012

Never Ending Death Wish


I have a death wish in my hands
He hangs and waits, he even stares
I don’t know why he is with me
But he seems happy as can be

I have a death wish on my back
He’s heavy as he is light
He whispers in my ear all day
I wonder what he wants to say

I have a death wish on my bed
He never seems to turn or sway
But at the end of everyday
He promises my pain will go away

I have a death wish beneath my seat
He holds me and pulls me.
He holds me with power, too tight for me
But nowhere else I’d rather be

I have a death wish in my house
I look into his hollowed eyes
And see not but pain and lies

I have a death wish, yes I do
Though you may not think it true
But it is true

I have a death wish right here
I should not hold him so dear
Help me, save me, the shout should be
But,

I love him and he loves me.
                                       
                                        Anonymous 23:53 6th March 2012

Sunday 4 March 2012

The Watchmen: A Study of Symmetry


This is my second attempt at writing a sort of critical study for The Watchmen. My first entry was based more towards the grey atmosphere of the movie and its characters, but now I realize the stupidity of that effort because until and unless you have gone throught the graphic novel written by Alan Moore (atleast twice) till that time no critical study can be truly correct cause as we all know a book, a graphic novel, even a comics has more depth than the movie made out of them.

So this piece of analysis is dedicated to my friends Gaurav Shukla, Abhishek guha Roy, Sanjay Pratyush, Ruchir Gupta and Akanksha Satyawali who make an argument interesting and make me think and work harder regarding understanding of inane and mundane things.

The meaning behind Watchmen runs deep,This analysis only begins to deal with the complexities of certain issues and layout.

Initially, one may not even think of wondering why Adrian Veidt, the hero Ozymandias,is given so much importance. It is confusing to be honest, he is not a hero you expect.  However, after multiple reads through Watchmen, different interpretations of his appearance can be made.  Perhaps even the end of the graphic novel will come to mind.  Why is this?  My theory is that because Adrian Veidt was the one man who could unify the world – even if only temporarily – his ‘unification’ of the planet was appropriate for a man capable of such. It is not easy to let go off things for the greater good, a man who his entire youth and manhood fought for humanity has to kill human beings to maintain peace.

Symmetry is, itself, violent as it can only be achieved by deconstructing the parallel world of the novel.  Its people and places become the layout, leaving readers in a constant search for a formal symmetrical structure. A beautiful instance comes to mind from the movie where The Comedian is being buried and Simon and Garfunkel plays in the background. The sky is grey, wet, all the ex vigilantes are there to give their last respect. The camera zooms out and we can see rorscach standing with a placard keeping an eye out for his fellow heroes.  The motivation for the search lies in the need to produce a single unified meaning that the various characters and images signify – a reconstruction of what was already deconstructed.

Reconstruction and deconstruction are terms that could very well be used when referring to the unification at the end of Watchmen.   Though the World began to prosper, questions rose as to whether this unification would last.  How could it when the only way to unify was/is to create fear?  Inevitably, deconstruction would once again occur and a dystopia would form.  Another unification (most likely another catastrophe) would have to occur for reconstruction – known as a vicious circle.

However, what can be said about an otherwise symmetrical image, such as the smiley pin, when a blood stain is interfering in its balance?  Does it lose it’s meaning when it obviously has great meaning throughout the story?  Does this asymmetry really have to prove as an imbalance, or can it create more meaning? A question is raised but the imagery is too strong, for those who are intimate with me know that I pin the smiley on the roof of my car. Right above my head, it reminds me of what we have and what we stand to lose.

Some may say – “If not for the blood stain on the smiley pin, it too would be considered a symmetrical object, continuously appearing throughout Watchmen, creating constant meaning wherever it treads”.  But do you really think Alan Moore intended for the smiley pin to be dismissed so easily?  Not likely.  Let us not dismiss the use of this asymmetrical, iconic pin as a metaphorical statement  – the tragic flaw, of sorts.  The tragic flaw – a flaw leading to the downfall of a tragic hero – may portend to the deconstruction of our main heroes/anti-heroes as well as the Minutemen.

Although all of our heroes had experienced a deconstruction, Adrian Veidt/Ozymandias faces those closest to the tragic flaw.  This probably has to do with his picturesque do-gooder attitude, similar to Alexander the Great’s – a man who had also wished to unite the world, yet failed to because of his untimely death.  Adrian Veidt may have created unity in the world, but for how long, no one is completely sure.  And here brings Adrian’s tragic flaw, shortsightedness.  He and Alexander alike, both seemed to be short sighted men of power.  Men who never considered who would take their place after death.

Similarly, the sociopathic bent of mind which Rorshcach and The Comedian face turn them into something which is not us. Their cynical approach and their fear of letting go shows us that their life is nothing beyond the mere garb of a vigilante serving justice. Comedian dies trying to defend himself and Rorschach treads onto his life of vigilante hooliganism till the time he is killed by Dr. Manhattan. The shift in his mask is not to create fear but to tell us that our perceptions change, we change every second hence a man who holds on to his belief cannot adapt and is no match to a Hero/Anti-hero like Veidt.

In the end, the greater good would suistain or not is the question. But it cannot, according to Dr. Manhattan nothing ever truly ends. So if today we have War tomorrow there will be peace and so on.

PS Its a shame no one ever talks about Nite Owl II and the girl in yellow spandex (whatever her name was)!!