The Gift of Pen and Paper n a lot of BLAH!!!!

My hands are shaky and I am still trying to write, why is this ever present need to put down feelings into written words. There is always an immense pain which rises which I try to put behind, sometimes I try to suppress it. But sometimes when I finally confront it there are always warm and salty tears which roll down. The tears sear my cheeks and it feels my lips have cold sores. But after the letting out of pent up emotions it always feels good.

Men fear to express their pain, being in denial mode is always the easier way out but in the long run when it does come out, it wrecks havoc. It magnifies and then pours out. You say stuff you do not mean, right and wrong blurs, and even a fight raised for best of causes loses it purpose. And what will it mean anyways when the reason for an uproar is lost.

Things seem simple like this, things are so better like this. When a situation arises; when I accept that even without family and friends and people around me I can be ok, it means that I am truly content in life. The fact is that we cannot seize to expect. But yes we can learn to control it, once that fact of life is mastered one cannot feel immense hurt, what I keep inside me will certainly be lost when I realize the value of not expecting.

I am at my calmest when I am on my own, I like to talk and when I do, I talk too much. When I am alone I have a lot of time to think, to ponder, to dream, I can actually see myself living my dreams. Some people find it juvenile and that is the reason you do not share who you are or what you are to everyone. I never share who I am with anyone. A projection is what we are, I have my flaws but why make random people privy to things which they will not care about anyways.

It’s a beautiful invention, aint it? The pen, the paper, the typewriter and the computer. But penning down thoughts is still my favorite. It’s beautiful, how a nice pen helps you write in a flowing straight line, the beautiful curves of alphabets, the creative element of me flowing through the pen. It’s just so beautiful.

  I have an inkling, till the time my fingers won’t be arthritic I will remain the happiest person on this planet. As I can write….. and some more…..